The Contents of Your Kitchen Cabinet Can Speak Volumes About You

…As I’ve learned over the years of sharing living quarters with others.

My current roommate’s eating habits are almost as peculiar as mine, something I couldn’t help but notice since I’ve moved in this past fall.  Now that she’s left town for three weeks, I set out to confirm my suspicions and took the liberty of swinging open the doors to her side of the kitchen cabinets, above the counter where she keeps her Zumba tapes.  The findings are quite telling about a 31-year-old compulsive-dieting product of our present day health-nut consumerism.  Of the pseudo-food that I found include:    

  • That “Medifast” fake meal powder mix and fake meal bars (these took up most of the room in the cabinets)
  • 7 different varieties of hot tea:  antioxidant tea, “A.M. detox” tea, citrus green tea, pomegranate tea, etc. etc. etc.
  • That iced tea mix where they add protein and fiber to make you feel less hungry (and speaking of protein….)
  • Two 1lb containers of whey protein powder
  • A pound of flaxseed meal
  • Instant coffee
  • Low-calorie microwave popcorn
  • Echinacea capsules
  • 2 cans of chunk light tuna in water
  • A 2lb container of raw oatmeal

And

  • A Hershey’s chocolate bar

How depressing.  I’m tempted to buy a package of chocolate covered double-stuff Oreos and stick them in her cabinet next to the Medifast.  Do you think that might place too much strain on our relationship?

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